End It Before You Go Through The Force!

What is Divorce? Look at the word Di=two, vorce=force; a forced division. How harsh is that. Before marriage takes place, we must really take notice if there is "ONE" vision or goal between the two involved. Some people are divorced before they get married. Why? How can two walk together unless they agree. The problem is many fail to look at the reality of it all, but base it on feelings. Loving someone isn't good enough, if your plans for the future seem to go in opposite directions. At this point you should love yourself and that person enough to let them go.

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You Can Work Together to Raise Your Children Right!

I had a challenge with my son last week. So, something I was able to do that a few years ago would have been impossible; call his father and talk to him about the situation. The point was for the both of us to work together although we aren't together, to keep our son on the right path. Besides, it shows our son that we can still get along for the purpose of making his life the best it can be without us being together. Yesterday my X called because he had a talk with our son. Then he put, DJ on the phone with me while he was standing there in his presence. At t his point there was no way for DJ to deny the situation that took place which displeased me. I thought that was very kind of my X to have compassion for my feelings concerning our son. We've come a long way and the best is yet to come.

Divorce and Agreement

What better way to raise a child after divorce than the two agree to be friends and put all the past behind. There's no bitterness, resentment or whatever animosity between the two or maybe just one who had a hard time letting go. No one wants to lose, but it's better to let go than work on something that's just not working. I know, I've been there, but have no regrets because I put my all into it. Just so happens that my all wasn't enough and so I knew it was over. I'm at such peace today with my new life, loving me and growing spiritually. I still have a wonderful relationship with my children and a great friendship with my X.

Be Truthful Through It All!

I had a conversation with my X that was so refreshing for the first time in over 11yrs. Although I was open and forgave him many years ago, there was some issues he carried that made our ending really hard especially with our children. Forgiveness is the key to first give you back your peace of mind and makes it easy to work together raising children the best way possible. I wasn't given that opportunity, although I desired it so much. Now both children who struggled so many years, are all grown up and it's too late to give them that. He see this now and regrets it. One thing I never did was put a negative image of him in my children's head, he did that himself. Today, they have their own opinion of him from what they've experienced. I have no regrets because the truth always outrun a lie any day and my relationship with my children is excellent.

Lack of Communication Will Destroy any Relationship!

Communication (open honesty) is one of the main reason relationships/marriages end. First and foremost, if your mate isn't your best friend, you are already in a doomed situation. You are both enemies in disguise. The person you decide to live your life with should be the one you can tell your deepest secrets and trust that he/she would never use that information against you. I know women who tell all their relationship/marital business to relatives, friends, etc. Then get advice, most of the time, from people who are not even an expert in that area. What I mean is if you are single or divorced and have not learned the secret to why it didn't work; thus learning the lesson, you are not QUALIFIED, to give advice. However, if you are sharing your experience to help someone avoid the pitfalls you've experienced, then great. It's funny, my X-husband called me to say after 11yrs. that our marriage didn't work because he didn't know how to communicate with me. He blamed himself. Although I forgave him a long time ago, I let him speak because at this point he needed to forgive himself and move on. The great thing about it is we are friends now. I'm such a divorce sport.

Are You Married 2 Your Husband & His Mama?

There is a saying that when you marry a man, you marry his mama. In some cases that is true...and you better believe that 99.9% of these marriages end in divorce, unless the man makes a conscious decision to detach from his mother. I'm not saying forget about her, no, not at all. I am saying, his mother should no longer be in the forefront of his life. She is no longer his immediate family, but now the wife is. ^{Genesis 2:24} Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. How will he become one with his wife, if he allows his mother to stand between them. Mother's do have a hard time letting go, and that's because they feel threatened that "this woman" is taken "my baby away from me"! Wake up mom's, with all due respect, he is NO LONGER your baby. Now, on the other side, the wife should respect his mother and be understanding, especially if he has a close relationship with her. If these women don't have their proper place in a man's life, divorce will surely be the end result!......Mama wins this fight! SMH!

Can We Be Friends!

Friendship after divorce is important. It proves that you can forgive and let go. When you have children, it's vital that two parents still agree to be there for them, no matter what. This teaches them a valuable lesson on forgiveness which is the doorway to peace, joy and a life of freedom. Freedom- not be held in bondage by bitterness because the marriage didn't work. This releases our children from the pressure of choosing sides, but this will only happen if one parent doesn't fill their head with negative thoughts of the other. It might be hard to do, but it's worth it for everyone's well being.